Thursday, October 28, 2010

Marriage Matters

Yesterday my husband and I celebrated our 10th anniversary. How lovely and wonderful it is to be married to this man. I am lucky and grateful. We've had big ups and bigger downs, but our 10th year together has been a very happy one. It is not a fairytale. "Happily ever after" likely doesn't exist, but happy most of the time certainly does!

Like good parenting, a good marriage takes hard work and effort. Dedication, commitment and energy. I used to think that marriage should be easy. If it was too hard then it wasn't worth it. Boy, have I grown up! The more you put into your marriage the more you get out of it. Just like an education and the career that follows, you have to keep working, keep learning and keep giving one hundred percent. If you stop putting in effort at work you'll lose your job. If you stop putting effort into your marriage, you'll lose your marriage.

Marriage matters. The relationship between husband and wife is the priority in the family because it is the foundation of the family, the very reason there is a family. It's easy to forget about this when a baby comes along. You devote so much time and energy toward the baby that sometimes you simply forget about each other, or begin to take each other for granted. Add a second child and you may go days hardly looking at each other (especially if you have twins or children very close together). It is vital to keep putting meeting each others needs amid the needs of your children. A fire left untended dies out. If anything, think of your marriage as a child. A new marriage needs the same time as attention as a newborn baby. A 5-year-old marriage is more secure, less prone to tantrums, but still needs plenty of love and attention. And so on, and so forth.

I encourage you to take a moment today to let your spouse know that they matter to you. That your marriage matters.

A few good books that have helped me along the way:

His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage Fifteenth Anniversary Edition
Saying What's Real: 7 Keys to Authentic Communication and Relationship Success
Grow Up!: How Taking Responsibility Can Make You a Happy Adult


  1. Congrats on 10 years! My husband and I have been married for 15 years and like you said it is a lot of work... It is well worth it, however.

  2. Happy anniversary! 10 years is quite the anniversary. I think your words are very sound advice. Somedays Gadget Guy and I are at one another's throats, but its because we haven't had an time together and it wears on us. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful entry about marriage!

  3. Happy anniversary! That's a great post. I believe that marriage is always a work in progress. You are right, we should take time to let our spouse know how much they matter coz sometimes, we get so busy with life and we end up taking things and each other for granted.

  4. great post, i'm sharing this with my husband specially the line 'If you stop putting in effort at work you'll lose your job. If you stop putting effort into your marriage, you'll lose your marriage'
    It is so true, we put in so much towards our careers and work and so little for the things that matter to the heart. Happy Anniversary and i sure do have warm fuzzzies reading your post!

  5. Happy Anniversary! My fiance and I have been together for 11 years now and we constantly strive to improve our relationship and make time for each other. It's so easy after so long to get comfortable. But it's the little things we do everyday to make our loved ones feel appriciated and loved that makes the difference.

  6. Thank you all for your kind comments. I'm very happy that you've connected with the post.

  7. Hello! I am stopping by from the All Hallows Eve Hop! I am your newest follower! Hope you will follow us back to

    Congratulations on your 10 year anniversary! That is really awesome!


  8. Congratulations on 10 years! Hope you had a wonderful celebration!

  9. Happy Anniversary. My husband and I will celebrate our 12th annicersary in a few months!

    I'm your newest follower and would love for you to stop by and follow me back. Be sure to check out (and enter) my giveaways while you're there!

    Cheers from Being Frugal & Making It Work!

  10. Congrats and Happy Halloween. Here from the bloghop. I follow you, please follow back

  11. Happy Anniversary!!!!

    Stopping over to BOOOoooooboboooboooooboooo on your page from the Creepy Crawl! I am stalking you I mean following your blog!

    Stop over bc someone got murdered on my BLOG!

  12. Hi, I'm your newest follower from Creepy Crawl Blog Hop. Happy Halloween!


  13. congrats on 10 years! We celebrate 7 years next month. I love your analogy about marriage and children. Excellent post!

    ps. thanks for your comment today. :)

  14. Happy Anniversary. Great post. Marriage does matter and it does take work. Me and my husband celebrated our 24th anniversary last July. Respect, honor, honesty, trust, compassion, expression, intimacy and commitment are very important. It's also a good idea to learn how men and woman's brains are wired so differently. Men by nature are not the multitaskers their wives are. Cute blog.
    ~ Carol

  15. I am stopping by from the blog hop. What a great post. Come visit at


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