Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Off We Go... Emotionally.

I'm a bag of mixed emotions today. Last night we said goodbye to my amazing parents, who are off to California for a wedding. It's probably best this way - them leaving us instead of the other way around. My little guy, who turns 3 in a couple of weeks, said to my mom, "Grandma, if you come on the airplane with us, then I won't have to miss you!"

Today we say goodbye to our kitty, Meena, whom we have decided to leave behind to live in this wonderfully pet-friendly place. The decision was not easy, but helped along by the fact that my sweet Milo disappeared a few days ago. He escaped the place we had put him in after only two days. Not long enough for him to have a sense of this place as home. Once again, I don't know where he is, if he's safe or scared. Silly, isn't it? But not so much. I miss my kitty-baby and I'm sad that he's gone missing somewhere unfamiliar to him. My mom thinks he'll come "home," yet this isn't is home. Anyway...

Then, on top of all the last minute packing and clearing and cleaning I have to do, I see this comment in my unpublished comments from a former supplier to our store that went out of business. "Like a thief in the night"... that's how she described us for leaving without paying our small balance to her company. Regular readers know the past months haven't been easy for us - going out of business, filing for bankruptcy, unemployed or poorly employed, feeding our family by way of Craigslist and selling off our possessions. Now we have a chance to start anew, by rightfully and legally leaving behind our debt. Our lives have been completely changed, whether for better or worse, over the past 6-months. My children are leaving behind friends and family and the only home they've known and I'm being called a thief in the night over $212 that the law says I don't have to pay. Did I want to? Yes, of course! But keeping food in my children's bellies, a place to live and decent shoes on their feet came first.

So, on top of having to say goodbye to friends, family and my cat, I'm feeling exceptionally upset by this comment and the mindset behind it. It won't be published, so don't bother looking. It's not all sunshine and roses in our lives, former supplier, in fact, there has hardly been any of that, but we're making the best of it.

Now, I have to go and try to stuff just a few more favorite things in suitcases. 10 small suitcases and a couple of carry-ons to start over with. All the rest left behind because we can't yet afford to ship pictures, puzzles, toys, my own books, knick-knacks and all those things that make your home a place filled with memories and love. The love is going with us, but take a look around your house for a moment. See all the "things" you love and wouldn't want to do without. We're doing without for who knows how long. Your $212 won't even ship a box of beloved stuffed animals that my daughters are in tears over. So, in an effort to keep my temper in check and appreciate that all people only see life from their own perspectives, I'm going to go finish my packing and ensure I leave my mother's home in good order.

See you on the other side, friends.