Saturday, March 17, 2012

An Undefined Mom - When No Category Quite Fits

Stay at Home Mom, Work From Home Mom, or Working Mom? How do you define yourself? 
Dads, just substitute "Dad" above.

I've been tossing this post around in my head for awhile. I've worn the label "SAHM" on and off for a long time (nearly 7 years), only shedding it about 6-months ago when my husband and I opened a retail wine store.

So, now I'm a Working Mom who, when at home, is still working. I'm working on the business, or I'm working on freelance writing projects, or self-publishing a book (the adorable Dolphin book listed on the left sidebar).

Before the store, I was a Kindermusik Educator. I prepared my materials and learned my songs at home with my girls and took them with me to classes; they reaped the enormous benefits of my job.

After my son was born, I stayed at home again, but I didn't sit still for long. I started writing, this time with income in mind, not just silly poetry for birthdays and anniversaries (I don't mean to say that poetry is silly, I mean that I actually wrote/write very silly verse). A year later I started doing private wine tastings. I worked the business from home, but the events were outside the home.

Now, I work 30 to 40 hours outside of the home and another 30 to 40 hours working inside of the home. Those home-based hours are mixed in with regular at-home duties, like laundry and housekeeping, and mom duties like feeding and bathing the children; not to mention spending a little time just being with them, whether we're playing or reading or cuddling up watching a video (a rare pleasure for me).  From 9 to 11pm it's husband/wife-time, but too often we're working or talking about work or returning a child to bed!

I'd have to guess that many, many parents in this country and around the world are living a similarly hectic active life. Yet, I constantly see debates about working moms vs. stay at home moms, which I find completely ridiculous. We are all working! Even you, stay at home mom blogger! You're building up your blog as a business, aren't you? You're working! And managing your home and children. A so-called working mother still comes home to dishes and laundry. Dads too!

We're all in the same boat, people. We just have different functions. Can we start working as a team, respecting and encouraging one another so the boat (i.e. society) sails smoothly?


  1. I enjoyed reading your blog and respect your premise of respecting both working and stay-at-home Moms.
    Hannah P.S.
    Join the fun, submit a cute photo or funny photo to my website contest. Then encourage your friends to vote and watch the results to see how many viewers vote for your photo. NO entry fee. $2,000 of prizes annually.

  2. I completely agree with you. When I was a SAHM so many people would ask me (what do you do all day?) In this day and age so many of us are wearing so many different hats, I don't think we should worry about labels.

  3. I agree. Being any kind of mom has its own unique challenges. As long as we all respect ourselves, we'll be better able to respect one another.

    Thanks for this post.

    Leslie Galloway
    FACEBOOK Profile:
    LesGalloway—at—Hotmail .d.o.t. com

  4. Yes, we all do work hard. It is such an important job to stay at home and take care of the home. Big and important job.


  5. Where would the world be and all of those professionals if every mom just stopped working? :) I had to quiet saying "oh I'm just a mom" I am not "just" anything. I am everything to two children who may someday be influencing other lives. Kids don't just happen they have to be raised and the one to do it is their mom and dad. Being a mom is the most purposeful job there is. I'm stopping by from the Make my morning blog hop.

    1. Absolutely! They WILL be influencing other lives. They already are. Thank you for stopping by!

  6. We moms are super talented, multi-tasking and creative individuals all striving to provide the best care, love and home for our families...dads too. With communication and the occasional glass of wine, lol, we rise to the top for any occasion. Thanks for sharing. I'm stopping by from Make My Morning Blog hop.


Go on, tell me what you think!