Monday, November 15, 2010

Nurture Vs Nature

Will boys simply be boys? Could this be true? For the past 15 years or so, I have leaned to the nurture side of the nurture vs. nature debate. My educational background is in sociology, psychology and family studies. I believed that if I raised my children with gender neutral leanings then they would pick up the best of both 'boy' traits and 'girl' traits.

I'm noticing this is not so. Ever since I had the boy, my theories have been slowly slipping out the window. Not flying, but slipping, testing my long-held beliefs.

Though my daughters enjoy trains, cars, dirt and dinosaurs, they most enjoy playing with their dolls. One is mommy, one is daughter, both have babies. Sometimes they even stick the dolls in their shirts and drop them out pretending to give birth! Hah! That mostly happened toward the end of my pregnancy with the boy.

But the boy just shows a natural affinity toward such things. If I give him a doll, a car, or a noisy lighting/musical toy, he goes for the car and starts making car noises! I don't even know how he learned that!

 The girls have both been very attached to their loveys since the moment they first held them. In fact, I've replaced them several times when lost without them noticing. Now they are too old for that trick and are perfectly happy to use a spare when we can't find Baby Pom or Baby Pim. But they can hardly pass a day without those little friends. The boy, on the other hand, to whom I've introduced a lovely several times, just throws them. Yes, just throws them. Out of the crib, out of his hands, out of the car seat. Give him a little stuffed animal lovey and he may chew on it for a moment, but then he tosses it aside like a stinky diaper (unless it is the aforementioned Baby Pim or Baby Pom, which he'll keep and then try to get away from his sister as quickly as possible!)!

Boo boos. The girls get the tiniest bump or scratch and its a tragedy as serious as Romeo and Juliet. Crying and whining commence. Bandaids and ice are required even if they haven't broken skin or bruised. It's terrible! And irritating! The boy, on the other hand, can hit his head on the floor hard, look stunned for a moment, laugh and go about his business. Sometimes when he accidentally bumps it he'll bump it again as if investigating the event. And when he falls off of something and smashes his face into the carpet whether the hard one at home, or the spongy one in mall play areas, he seriously just laughs and then climbs up to do it again!

My girls are girly. My boy is such a boy.

Nurture Vs. Nature? I'm now leaning toward nature.

How about you?


  1. i've ABSOLUTELY noticed the same things with my daughters vs. my son... it's just crazy! i guess girls will be girls and boys will be boys! your newest blog hop follower. would *love* a follow back. you can find me at:

    lots of FUN giveaways... come by and enter!

  2. My boys are both such BOYS too!!! I have often wondered about this, but now I am leaning toward 'nature'...


  3. Hi! New follower from Making Friends Monday! You can find me at


  4. Well, my son (who is almost 5 months old) does EVERYTHING with gusto. He bounces in his bouncer and about goes through the daughter, a dainty little waif...bounced on one toe, gently moving up and down. Ha! There is DEFINITELY a BIGGG difference! :)

    I am a new follower from Making Friends Monday! Hope you will stop by my review and giveaway blog, "in my opinion..." and follow me as well. Here's the link:

    I do have several blogs, but this on is the one I am looking for followers for. Thanks sooo much and have a blessed day! :)

  5. Great blog! New Follower. Following from the blog hop. I have a food blog that's loaded with recipes, spices, food giveaways and more.

  6. Hi this is Nicole from Colies Kitchen I just discovered your blog and wanted to drop by and say hi. I really like your blog, and am now a new follower. I would love to have you stop by Colie’s Kitchen if you get a chance.

  7. Thanks for linking up at Making Friends Monday! I am now following you.I look forward to reading more from you! I hope you have a great week!

  8. Those are some very interesting ideas!

    I just found your blog through a Monday blog hop! Have a great evening.

    Amanda @

  9. I too have the same feelings on this. I have two of each, my girls would just assume to sit in side coloring, or playing with the cats like they are babies (our cats do not have to walk anywhere, ever). While my boys I have to constitantly remind not to tackle each other ALL the time or in dangerous locations. :)

  10. Thank you for all the comments on this and welcome to my new followers! I love hearing about your experiences!!!

  11. I'm hoping for a BOY boy, but we'll see what happens!

  12. Thanks for join my blog hop,
    I'm following you.

  13. Yep I have always said "nature", but hopefully some of the good qualities come from nurture!

    I'm following you, would love if you could follow me. Visit from the TTT blog hop!


  14. Great post! Okay, you'll get the Psychologist perspective from me, ready? Research points to both, but definitely does NOT leave out the nature side. Boys WILL be boys and girls WILL be girls. They are just different. But nurture reinforces those differences to make them more noticeable. Or, at least, that's the going theory and the one I believe to be true :)

  15. Thanks, AGP! And thanks to all for the great comments and new followers.


Go on, tell me what you think!