Tuesday, January 15, 2013

The First Day of the Next Phase of my Life

It felt strange to walk back to the car by myself. For the first time in 7 years there is no child in my care. Sure, I've had babysitters here and there, I worked at the wine store or ran a wine-tasting and left the kids in someone else's care, but this feels very different.

All three of my children are in school.

I came home, cleaned the kitchen, made the pasta sauce for tonight's dinner, did some laundry, read e-mails, wrote a blog post and read a few others all in a span of 3 hours. I still have another hour and half before heading back to school and I've already accomplished more than I usually do in 2 days.

The one who started me on my motherhood journey
Nature Girl at 3 weeks (now she's 7!)
You have a life before you become a mother. Then, once you have a baby, being a mother becomes your life.

I've gone through all of the early childhood phases now. I've had three pregnancies, three beautiful babies, three periods of newborn sleeplessness, three first foods, three first teeth, three first steps with the help of table edges or nice baby walkers turning them into little sprinters... I've breastfed, I've bottle-fed, I've been spit up on, peed on and changed many messy diapers.

I've taken care of sick babies, injured babies, sad toddlers and temper tantrums. I've read hundreds of books, sung hundreds of songs, and kissed those 3 pairs of cheeks thousands of times. I've been the blessed giver and receiver of hugs 24-hours a day, 7 days a week.

Now... 18 hours of my week will be spent child-free. 18 hours. 3 days from 9am to 3pm I am on my own. I am no longer solely responsible for the care and education of my son. It is the first day of the next phase of my life.

Some women wonder what to do at this point in their lives, but I know. I am stepping into being my whole self. Wife, Mother and Woman - a trinity of the feminine. For years the balance has tipped heavily on the first two, but now it is the woman's turn to shine. Balance will be restored. "Mrs" and "Mommy" will make room again for "Tamara." In a few month's time I'll be a certified Passion Test Facilitator. I'll be coaching women like me to find and fulfill their greatest passions.

I love my roles as wife and mother. I love my family. But I am on fire to live a part of my life again just for me. The best part of it? The "just for me" bit is going to bring so much more to my family and to the world than if I continued to devote every waking moment to home, husband and children.

Watch me shine, people!


  1. i love these roles too - wife, mother, and sister, daughter, friend, and me...
    came here via Monday Mingle and following you now via GFC. Do hop on over to my blog when you can

  2. I know. When I have any time to myself I don't know what to do LOL. Actually I never have time to myself I'm always with Matilda. I'm sure that day for me will be very strange too :) Hope your doing great and I'm excited for your new phase xoxox

  3. Wow, can I relate! I am a mom of 3 as well, and my youngest just in school full time as of September, it's been an interesting transition. The best part for me has been the space, breathing room really, that has been created, to allow time to ask myself (again) what really is most important to me now, and how do I really want to spend my precious time? The opportunities are limitless, so what do I want to choose? And you're becoming an expert in the perfect tool to help us when we're asking those questions! I'm SO excited to see you reconnect to your awesomeness as a woman and share your amazing gifts with the world, empowering other women to to embrace their awesomeness fully too. big hugs to you :)

  4. It is a bittersweet moment, isn't it? I bet you will be very productive. :)

  5. When all three kids were in school was such a magical moment for me. It only gets better.

  6. You are amazing.. But I also wonder how my mother did it with 7 children.. All turned out wonderful and a very close family. I only had 2 and that was hard.. You are a wonderful person, keep up the great work. AT

  7. Thanks to all of you for your wonderful words of encouragement and support!!! It means so much to me. Love to all of you!

  8. First of all; what a beautiful, beautiful photo!! Just gorgeous!
    My youngest one started school last year and the first day I felt really sad and empty. It was almost like one of my arms was missing (after having children at home for 10 years!)But after a few days of being sad something different happened; I felt free and I started to feel like the woman I used to be (pre-children) It felt amazing!
    I felt like a kid in a lolly shop, doing all the things I had wanted to do for a long time :-)
    I can so relate to "now it is the woman's turn to shine" as I feel just like that.
    Can't wait to read all about "Tamara's" new adventurous! You go girl!!
    Sending hugs your way xoxo

    1. You're so lovely, Raquel! I think I'm only just beginning to see how much more I'll be able to do... I might even take a day once in a while to act like a tourist! Seeing the gorgeous sights of England without the distraction of the children! Hugs to you! You shine right through your website. :)

  9. An inspirational post! My daughter is at nursery today and I am doing exactly what you describe, in a month she'll be old enough for playgroup and before I know it she'll be at school! I love these times on my own, but also just want her to stay my little baby!


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