I realized one day that I wasn't happy. No matter what joyful moments appeared in my life, when they faded, so did my happiness. I searched and searched hoping that something, someone might make me happy.
Make Vs. Choice
A couple of months ago I began my NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) training and learning about the grip our subconscious minds have on our reality. That every detail, every event in our lives is documented and stored in our brains. Things you can't consciously recall are there. Every. Single. Thing. And it all effects how we perceive the world.
I also re-learned something I already knew - that our feelings are just our chosen reactions to our thoughts. That's right. Event + Thoughts about event = Feelings.
No one and nothing can make you anything. Your husband can't make you mad, you choose to respond with anger. Your children can't make you shout. You choose to respond by shouting. Life and bills and traffic can't make you feel anything - you choose to.
With this knowledge, one can begin to choose a different response. Which is great, but there's more to it.
Confidence Vs. Self-Love/Worth
There is confidence and then there is self-love or self-worth. Confidence is a state or behavior. You can achieve a state of confidence at any given time it is required. You confidently tie your shoes, confidently toast your bread, you confidently drive your car. You know you can do these things and you do them with confidence.
An NLP coach can even "anchor" confidence within you, so if you're not feeling confident and you'd like to, you just use the anchor and boom! You're feeling confident again! Now you can go give that speech or ask for a pay raise without the jitters.
But you can't anchor self-love. You can't just snap your fingers and feel like you have value in this world. I think of it like an umbrella in the rain. The rain is all of the doubts, the criticisms, the negativity that you or others shower on yourself. The umbrella is self-love or self-worth. The bigger your umbrella, or the more you love yourself, the drier you'll stay.
I kept thinking, how can I stay dry if it just keeps pouring down on me? Then I started practicing self-love. Yes, if you don't know how to do something, you have to practice until you are proficient. There are tools and coaches -just like with a sport.
My tools are EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), Guided Meditation/Hypnosis (not like the magic show kind ;) and "I am" affirmations. My coaches are the many teachers I've listened to interviews with on Your Life Without Limits and The Aware Show. They are the voices on the meditation and hypnosis recordings I listen to - Chris Howard (my NLP trainer), Bob Proctor (Law of Attraction expert) and Lisa Nichols (author and speaker extraordinaire), among others.
Happiness Comes From Within
That's what they say, but do you really get it? I didn't. Now I do.
After nearly 3 months or more of practicing, I've achieved proficiency. I'm experiencing a feeling within myself that I probably haven't had since I was a kid. A true, deep and profound love for myself and it is such a peaceful feeling. It feels right. It feels good, just like love should.
*** You can find my favorite meditation by Lisa Nichols on an App called Omvana here. I am not being compensated for this post. This post is sponsored solely by my heart and my desire for every woman, man and child to have a deep and steady love for themselves. Imagine the world then?