My body knew just what to do and no doctor, nurse, textbook or parenting website was necessary. Yet, an interesting thing happens along the path, or at least it has happened for me... I have totally lost touch with that side of me; the power and presence of my womanhood.
Through the years of babies and diapers and utter chaos and mess, my feminine presence fell by the wayside. Though I always manage to get my shower and put on my lipstick, I lost my sexy. I lost that thing I used to have when I stepped onto the dance floor at a club or walked down the halls at University or the workplaces that followed. My flow, my spark, my sensuality.
I lost the flirty, sexy, free feeling woman who once lived here. I lost my libido. I lost my connection to myself. I became closed and stifled.
For the past two years or so I've made tremendous strides in my personal development, even becoming a life coach and Passion Test facilitator. I have SO much passion for women and mothers and getting people to switch on the light to a better life, their ideal life! Yet, not so much passion at home or in the bedroom.
A couple of weeks ago one of my mentors ran a Red Tent Revival and I found myself shocked at how squeamish I got with some of the interviews and material. Eroticism, orgasms, burlesque dancing and a lot more. I thought, how is this possible? I used to facilitate classes getting people comfortable talking about sex and exploring their sexuality and now, not even 20 years later, my cheeks are getting red hearing about erotic edges? WTH?
When did I become such a prude?! So, I'm working on it. Because that's what I do. I find those edges of me that aren't fully formed and I choose to allow growth. That is why we're here. One of Kristin's pictures speaks volumes:
So that's what I'm doing. Stretching myself. I had a session with an incredible coach who blew through my excuses and created an incredible "aha" moment for me regarding the dichotomy between who I am at home with my family and who I am with friends, peers and clients. I'll tell you about it next time, so stay tuned.