This Mommy Needs You!

I need your help. Are you an entrepreneur? If you're a blogger, you have the spirit! Are you a business owner? You know what it takes! Are you a mother? You want the best for your children and family. I am all of the above.

In the past I've kept my wine retail business separate from my parenting blog, but now I need your help. My store, Sense of Wine, has been open for 5 months. It rocks. The trouble is, like many businesses, we need cash. Weeks before we opened, our main investor pulled out due to a personal matter. We had two choices - stop in our tracks or go for it. We opened the store with a 1/3 of the capital we had planned.

I could sell you on the concept, but you can visit our website for that, so I'm going to get to the point. I urgently need a private investor or credit partner or our doors will close within weeks. My readers are my largest network, so I'm turning to you for help.

Over the past several months, we've learned that banks won't loan to start-ups. Entrepreneurs like us massacre our credit in the process of discovering that sad point. If the store closes, we'll likely file for bankruptcy, lose our house and start over from zero. Literally.

We're at the end of our financial rope. We seek a visionary who can see what we see and is willing to commit cash, or a person who will become our credit partner.

A credit partner is someone who signs on to the company in name only, allows the business to utilize their good credit history (680+ with 5 years or more of history) and gets 10% of the loan amount granted for their partnership (we're seeking at least $50k, ideally $150k). As a credit partner, you assume none of the debt and it does not effect your credit or credit history in any way. We then set aside enough of the loan to insure repayment for the length of our credit "partnership." After several months, the credit partner can be removed from the company and a few months later, removed from the loan and any potential responsibility for it.

My babes

Are you the person who has vision and wants to be part of a wine revolution?! Or do you want to earn a nice chunk of cash to help me save my business and home by becoming our credit partner? Perhaps you know someone who is.

From the depth of my heart, from one mother to another, I'm asking you for help. For my kids, my business, my life. Consider being my visionary investor, my credit partner and at the very least, a friend who will share this with everyone you know (click any of the sharing buttons found below).

Ready? E-mail me at adgmommy (at) gmail (dot) com or info (at) senseofwinegr (dot) com.

Thank you.
Tamara 

Potty without Training

Potty Learning in Progress
Photo Credit: Manish Bansal
Creative Commons License

Last week I wrote about the reasons why I refuse to potty train my children. This week, I'll tell you how they learned to use the toilet anyway!

Instead of "training," I used Gentle Encouragement. Theresa, from The Outnumbered Mommy, calls it "Potty Learning" in her house. I like that term too, because there's no forcing or control implied.

My Gentle Encouragement method takes longer than the 3-days or a week that traditional training methods require. It can take a few weeks, or months or a year. It depends on the age and readiness of your child. However, it also takes a lot less patience and determination! Begin with the understanding that your child will eventually use the toilet exclusively. Understand that they will want to! Then, simply encourage them to do so.


Note: Your first born will likely take the longest. Younger siblings tend to pick up interest sooner because they see their adored older sibling using the toilet.

The How To - There is no set-in-stone procedure, but to give you a general idea, here's how I do it:

1. Watch for readiness - Our brains are wired for bladder control. Somewhere between 18 and 30 months your child will start to "tell" you they're ready. Signs include staying drier longer, especially through naps; general interest in the toilet; he notices when he's wet or tell you when he goes potty or poop in his diaper; ability to follow 3-step directions; an increased attention span.

2. Encourage the Transition - When my first-born started fighting every diaper change, with every diaper change I would say, "You sure don't like diaper changes! When you go potty in the toilet you won't need them anymore!" Then I would list all the people she knew who use the toilet! "I go potty on the toilet. Aunt Jen goes potty on the toilet. Your friend Ava goes potty on the toilet." And so on and so forth. Use male role models for boys.

3. Frequently recognize and verbalize her (or his) big kid status - "Wow, what a big girl you are! You did _____ (fill in the blank)! Big girls go potty on the toilet too!"

4. Exposure - The more natural, non-demanding exposure to the toilet your child gets, the better. Read potty books, have play-dates with peers who already use the potty and when you need to go, let him know, "Mommy has to go potty on the toilet now! I'm a big girl!"

5. Just Ask - When you're at home and it's convenient, just ask once in a while. No pressure, no forcing, just a simple question. "Want to go potty on the toilet?" My 2-year-old (29-months) now tells me, "Big kaka" ("kaka" is French for poo poo, my kids are bilingual) right before he goes. So, I ask the question. Sometimes he says, "Yes!" and we run to the toilet. Sometimes he says no, so I say, "OK. If you go in the toilet we won't need to change your diaper."

That's it. Easy, stress-free potty learning. You're wondering how long it took my kids?
1st born - started showing interest around 22 months, out of diapers at 30 months (Grandma was coming to visit for Thanksgiving. That day my girl decided she was officially a big girl and diapers were gone forever).
2nd born - started showing interest around 20-months. Out of diapers around 32 months, nights took until age 4.
3rd born - currently 29-months, goes potty on the toilet a couple of times a day. Still in diapers.

Questions? Ask away!

Parenting Tip - Use a checklist

It's been a week since I informed my daughters that I quit. You can read that story here at ParentSociety, where I contribute. The short story is after too many days of fussing and fighting and running late, I quit participating in my children's fits and fights.

I should have done this long ago, but I'm an interventionist. Always trying to use tense moments between my children for teaching. One might also say I am a control freak. Yes, after nearly 7 years of parenting, I have finally admitted to myself that I have control issues. I'm working on it with a little help from great Law of Attraction teachers like Joe Vitale and Michael Beckwith and one who specializes in children and parents, Denny Hagel (I'll be reviewing one of her books within the next couple of weeks, so watch for it).

Since last weekend, instead of telling my girls that it's time to get ready and telling them what to do and having to repeat myself numerous times, I have instead given them a checklist. They are 5 and 6 and both reading at about a middle first grade level. Each morning and each evening, I simply hand them their checklists. I am learning that slight variations in my wording can have a great impact on their behavior.

For instance, most checklists read something like this:

1. Brush teeth
2. Get dressed - long sleeve shirt, jeans, socks
3. Brush hair

We leave at 8:40AM.

I tell them the current time when I hand it to them and then they refer to the digital clock in the kitchen and in the bedroom they share. When I write the checklist like that, they do the necessary without me having to remind them of anything. They just go and do it. I'm still in awe of this change of routine for us. I love it!

However, when I make just a minor change in my wording and write,

"By 8:40AM"

something interesting happens. They do not respond as well. I have to remind them. A simple change of one word causes a certain change in their response. Instead of being informed, they are being directed. They don't like being directed. Neither do I, so I get it and will adjust accordingly henceforth!

You can try a checklist even if your kids aren't readers yet! Just draw a picture of a toothbrush, pajamas and a bed. Keep it to 3 items, or your little one will feel overwhelmed and the checklist will quickly turn to scrap paper. Depending on their age, you may still need to help with one or more of the items, but your little kid will feel like a big kid when you hand over responsibility. You'll feel good, too, because you're no longer the one who has to do it all.

Have you tried checklists? How have they worked for you? What behavioral changes have you noticed and how have you tweaked the checklist to make it a more effective parenting tool?

Lovable Labels Review and Giveaway

It makes perfect sense that Lovable Labels was founded by a mom! Once we start packing the kids off to daycare or school everything from shoes to coats to extra underwear needs to bear our children's names. Perhaps you've noticed, as I have, that permanent marker doesn't do a very good job and it's not that permanent!

This is where Lovable Labels come in. You can label anything with these super durable and very cute labels! They have sticker labels, shoe labels, and even iron on labels that survive the washer and dryer! They have bag tags, metal tags and even medical and ID wristbands (great for travel & crowds!! I would have loved this one for our trip to France last summer!).

I was given the opportunity to review Lovable Labels new Friendship Pack. Of course, I ordered for my two daughters. Each label has a symbol along with the name and there are about 45 to choose from. My little animal rescuer got the dinosaur, my artist the heart.

The girls are thrilled with their labels!! I've sent cups through the dishwasher and the labels came out in perfect condition. They really do stick! Not like those, "Hello, My Name Is" stickers we all get for school parties and presentations.

I have to note that one of the names was spelled wrong. My animal lover's name was missing the last letter. I don't know if I typed it in wrong, distracted by my crazy toddler, or if it was a mistake on the company's part. Fortunately, it doesn't matter because they shipped out a corrected set of label within a day of me emailing them about it. That's great customer service!

The Giveaway:

Lovable Labels has generously supplied (aspiring) Domestic Goddess Mommy with a "Friendship Pack" for one lucky winner!  Thanks, Lovable Labels!

3 Reasons I Refuse to Potty Train



Photo Credit: Valentina Powers
Creative Commons License

Potty Training is a hot topic for the toddler set. Well, for their mothers anyway, though my boy has certainly developed a potty mouth! "Me pee pee," and "Big kaka" are just a couple of the phrases frequently pouring from his mouth these days.

He's showing all the signs of readiness for potty training: interest in the toilet, telling me when he needs a change, even going potty on the toilet once every day or two, and frequently staying dry during naps. Yet, I refuse to train him, just as I refused to train his two sisters before him.

That's right. I never potty-trained his sisters. But, prepare for a shock - they exclusively use the toilet for their potty and poo-poo needs! It's true!

Why do I refuse to potty train? I'll share with you my top 3 reasons:

1. Time - My daily schedule changes daily, and therefore the schedules of my children. One is in school full-time, the other half-time and their Papa and I irregularly split shifts at our retail store.

To potty train in the traditional sense, it is most effective to devote several days to paying very close attention to your toddler, taking him to the potty once every hour or so and having a very predictable schedule for that time-period.

2. Patience - I don't have enough. This was the case with my firstborn, and it is unfortunately still the case. My second child came just 15-months after the first, so when the first was ripe for potty-training, I was dealing with a baby. Having the two so close together threw me off my game and I did not possess the necessary patience to potty train one while nursing the other. You do? Good for you! You don't? Relax! It's ok.

With the boy seemingly ready for 'training', I now have the two girls running around, still requiring plenty of attention. It's rather a mad-house when all three are about and I have quite a lot on my plate right now with a new retail business, my writing and everything else that daily living brings. Excuses? Yes, but valid for me and I'm the only one living my life.

3. Nature - Something that comes naturally doesn't require 'training'. Unless there is a true physical or neurological issue present, all children eventually learn to hold "it", use the toilet and lose the diapers. As I mentioned previously, my daughters both do it and they are only now 5 and 6. Believe it or not, they naturally began modelling mommy and using the toilet to do their business. The first-born at around 2 1/2 and the second around age 2. Both were completely out of diapers by age 3 with no training, only gentle guidance and encouragement on my part.

How did I do it? You'll have to watch for my follow-up post: 'Taking the "Training" out of the Potty" or something like that... Suggest a good title and I'll give you credit! Follow my on Google+ and Twitter and you'll be the first to know when it's published.

Do you potty train? What works for you and your family? Leave a comment and tell me, please!