I write more often when I'm down, pensive, frustrated. It's my way of cleansing myself of my negativity. Some new thought leaders suggest never penning what ails you, keeping quiet about the things in life that you wish were different and releasing through meditation or creative visualization.
Most of the time I ascribe to such advice. Today, though, I'm hitting a bump. This is what yelling does to me. It's been a trying week and finally, this morning, I lost it big time. It had absolutely nothing to do with the kid that I yelled at. It had everything to do with my stress around our finances, my too-slow-business growth and probably hormones.
So, I write. Like the pensieve that Dumbledore used to store his thoughts, I use writing to detoxify my mind. I'm wondering today what the point is the point of it all? Void of my characteristic cheerfulness, I feel hopeless. All those uplifting quotes on Facebook serve to diminish instead of inspire me.
I've learned that when one is on their path, on their purpose, there is a flow to life. My life is not flowing. My path is muddy, rocky, disrupted, disjointed. So, am I on the right path? When do I get to actually use some of my learnings instead of continually facing the challenges that teach?
I cry to the Universe for hope. Confirmation. Otherwise, I may as well chuck my aspirations in the bin and focus my energies simply on being the best mother and homemaker I can be. That will require dusting and once and for all matching all of the socks. I want more.
I want to BE hope, to BE light, to BE inspiration.
(Aha moment) This is tension. I have forgotten the very credo of my beloved Passion Test. Intention, Attention, No Tension. I am in a state of tension.
Yet, through this written meditation I have made a connection. This melancholy is an aspect of my authenticity. Passion #4: When my life is ideal, I am living authentically from my heart and soul.
Being authentic, for me, is not all cheer and forward movement. It is also embracing my sadness, pausing and reflecting. That is what the Universe ("God" to many) has been showing me this week. I am grateful for yet another lesson.
This is why I write.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Day 12: The Orange Rhino Challenge
I am on my 12th successful day in a row in the Orange Rhino Challenge. This is only the second time I've gotten this far since I began in December. The first time I was away from my family from days 9 to 14!! (To find out what I learned on my first good run, click here.)
This time, I feel different. My kids feel different. My family feels different. I feel lighter and happier even though the usual underlying stress is still ever present. Money is tight, schedules are tight, children are children. Yet, I feel at ease in my skin, peaceful in my home and more loving than ever.
Choosing to stop yelling and to more importantly, choosing to use a kinder, loving voice with my children requires a 100% commitment and the awareness that the only failure is to stop trying. Try every hour. Every day until a shift happens. That's what I've done and I feel the shift.
But here's the thing someone who wants to yell less (or not at all) needs to know - it is the yeller who must change before anything else; before the children, the schedule, the finances. Whatever stress I used to use as an excuse to lose my temper with my children is no longer valid. Yes, we're all just human, and I'm committed to being the best damn human I can be. Every day I make choices to step deeper into the shoes of the woman I want to be.
I've been practicing this since December and here it is March. Over the course of the past 3 months I've successfully kept my temper in check essentially 2 out of 3 months. That's pretty good for this reforming fuse-blower.
How do I do that? How can you? It begins with a choice, then a commitment. Then, a support group. I post my success and failures on Facebook. Sometimes publicly, more often privately to garner support and encouragement from my family and close friends. I post also to inspire those close to me with children at home to join in the challenge with me!
Next, tools!!! There are plenty of tools to help. Fortunately, I know a few and I am always willing to ask for help. That's probably the best tool in my kit - the ability and willingness to ask for help. This is about my kids; about providing them with the best damn foundation that I can and that requires working on me first, so I ask for help because it matters so much.
Other incredible tools include The Passion Test. Through The Passion Test, I clarified that right now enjoying a happy, joyful, respectful family life and being the role-model that I really want to be for my children are two of my top 5 passions. Putting my attention on those helps them to grow stronger in my life and that is exactly what is happening. I love The Passion Test SO MUCH!!!! (Find out what it is here.)
Another tool is EFT or tapping. For the past several days The Tapping Solution has been running a summit full of incredible interviews and plenty of tapping. If you have no idea what this is, I encourage you to check it out because it is a powerful tool for stress relief, pain relief and any other kind of relief you may seek!
Finally, NLP. This is the other certification I've been studying and practicing for over the past several months. One process had me go back to the root of my anger and release it - and it seems to have worked beautifully.
As you can see, I'm giving this challenge my all. I'm doing everything possible to succeed because it isn't really about "not yelling." It's about being the mother my children deserve to have and being the woman that I truly am.
This time, I feel different. My kids feel different. My family feels different. I feel lighter and happier even though the usual underlying stress is still ever present. Money is tight, schedules are tight, children are children. Yet, I feel at ease in my skin, peaceful in my home and more loving than ever.
Choosing to stop yelling and to more importantly, choosing to use a kinder, loving voice with my children requires a 100% commitment and the awareness that the only failure is to stop trying. Try every hour. Every day until a shift happens. That's what I've done and I feel the shift.
But here's the thing someone who wants to yell less (or not at all) needs to know - it is the yeller who must change before anything else; before the children, the schedule, the finances. Whatever stress I used to use as an excuse to lose my temper with my children is no longer valid. Yes, we're all just human, and I'm committed to being the best damn human I can be. Every day I make choices to step deeper into the shoes of the woman I want to be.
I've been practicing this since December and here it is March. Over the course of the past 3 months I've successfully kept my temper in check essentially 2 out of 3 months. That's pretty good for this reforming fuse-blower.
How do I do that? How can you? It begins with a choice, then a commitment. Then, a support group. I post my success and failures on Facebook. Sometimes publicly, more often privately to garner support and encouragement from my family and close friends. I post also to inspire those close to me with children at home to join in the challenge with me!
Next, tools!!! There are plenty of tools to help. Fortunately, I know a few and I am always willing to ask for help. That's probably the best tool in my kit - the ability and willingness to ask for help. This is about my kids; about providing them with the best damn foundation that I can and that requires working on me first, so I ask for help because it matters so much.
Other incredible tools include The Passion Test. Through The Passion Test, I clarified that right now enjoying a happy, joyful, respectful family life and being the role-model that I really want to be for my children are two of my top 5 passions. Putting my attention on those helps them to grow stronger in my life and that is exactly what is happening. I love The Passion Test SO MUCH!!!! (Find out what it is here.)
Another tool is EFT or tapping. For the past several days The Tapping Solution has been running a summit full of incredible interviews and plenty of tapping. If you have no idea what this is, I encourage you to check it out because it is a powerful tool for stress relief, pain relief and any other kind of relief you may seek!
Finally, NLP. This is the other certification I've been studying and practicing for over the past several months. One process had me go back to the root of my anger and release it - and it seems to have worked beautifully.
As you can see, I'm giving this challenge my all. I'm doing everything possible to succeed because it isn't really about "not yelling." It's about being the mother my children deserve to have and being the woman that I truly am.
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| Photo Source: Brian Tracy FB Page |
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