An Undefined Mom - When No Category Quite Fits

Stay at Home Mom, Work From Home Mom, or Working Mom? How do you define yourself? 

Dads, just substitute "Dad" above.

I've been tossing this post around in my head for awhile. I've worn the label "SAHM" on and off for a long time (nearly 7 years), only shedding it about 6-months ago when my husband and I opened a retail wine store.

So, now I'm a Working Mom who, when at home, is still working. I'm working on the business, or I'm working on freelance writing projects, or self-publishing a book (the adorable Dolphin book listed on the left sidebar).

Before the store, I was a Kindermusik Educator. I prepared my materials and learned my songs at home with my girls and took them with me to classes; they reaped the enormous benefits of my job.

After my son was born, I stayed at home again, but I didn't sit still for long. I started writing, this time with income in mind, not just silly poetry for birthdays and anniversaries (I don't mean to say that poetry is silly, I mean that I actually wrote/write very silly verse). A year later I started doing private wine tastings. I worked the business from home, but the events were outside the home.

Now, I work 30 to 40 hours outside of the home and another 30 to 40 hours working inside of the home. Those home-based hours are mixed in with regular at-home duties, like laundry and housekeeping, and mom duties like feeding and bathing the children; not to mention spending a little time just being with them, whether we're playing or reading or cuddling up watching a video (a rare pleasure for me).  From 9 to 11pm it's husband/wife-time, but too often we're working or talking about work or returning a child to bed!

I'd have to guess that many, many parents in this country and around the world are living a similarly hectic active life. Yet, I constantly see debates about working moms vs. stay at home moms, which I find completely ridiculous. We are all working! Even you, stay at home mom blogger! You're building up your blog as a business, aren't you? You're working! And managing your home and children. A so-called working mother still comes home to dishes and laundry. Dads too!

We're all in the same boat, people. We just have different functions. Can we start working as a team, respecting and encouraging one another so the boat (i.e. society) sails smoothly?