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| Photo Credit: Valentina Powers Creative Commons License |
He's showing all the signs of readiness for potty training: interest in the toilet, telling me when he needs a change, even going potty on the toilet once every day or two, and frequently staying dry during naps. Yet, I refuse to train him, just as I refused to train his two sisters before him.
That's right. I never potty-trained his sisters. But, prepare for a shock - they exclusively use the toilet for their potty and poo-poo needs! It's true!
Why do I refuse to potty train? I'll share with you my top 3 reasons:
1. Time - My daily schedule changes daily, and therefore the schedules of my children. One is in school full-time, the other half-time and their Papa and I irregularly split shifts at our retail store.
To potty train in the traditional sense, it is most effective to devote several days to paying very close attention to your toddler, taking him to the potty once every hour or so and having a very predictable schedule for that time-period.
2. Patience - I don't have enough. This was the case with my firstborn, and it is unfortunately still the case. My second child came just 15-months after the first, so when the first was ripe for potty-training, I was dealing with a baby. Having the two so close together threw me off my game and I did not possess the necessary patience to potty train one while nursing the other. You do? Good for you! You don't? Relax! It's ok.
With the boy seemingly ready for 'training', I now have the two girls running around, still requiring plenty of attention. It's rather a mad-house when all three are about and I have quite a lot on my plate right now with a new retail business, my writing and everything else that daily living brings. Excuses? Yes, but valid for me and I'm the only one living my life.
3. Nature - Something that comes naturally doesn't require 'training'. Unless there is a true physical or neurological issue present, all children eventually learn to hold "it", use the toilet and lose the diapers. As I mentioned previously, my daughters both do it and they are only now 5 and 6. Believe it or not, they naturally began modelling mommy and using the toilet to do their business. The first-born at around 2 1/2 and the second around age 2. Both were completely out of diapers by age 3 with no training, only gentle guidance and encouragement on my part.
How did I do it? You'll have to watch for my follow-up post: 'Taking the "Training" out of the Potty" or something like that... Suggest a good title and I'll give you credit! Follow my on Google+ and Twitter and you'll be the first to know when it's published.
Do you potty train? What works for you and your family? Leave a comment and tell me, please!
My three year old refuses to potty train. I tried the whole put on the potty every hour and all that, but he would either hold it until he got a diaper or go in his pants. So I have given up for the time being and am letting him take the lead. He knows when he has to go and will sit on the potty himself, but if I force him it ends up being frustrating for the both of us. I look forward to reading more on how you approach it. It's frustrating because other people judge you when you don't potty train in a traditional sense or when your 3 year old is still wearing a diaper. Pull-ups are too expensive and do nothing for him...been there done that already.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad that people judge us for our parenting choices. having a 3-year-old still in diapers is much better than having a burned-out mom and a kid who hates the bathroom because too many power struggles occur there. Do your best to shrug off what others think. You're the only one living your life too!
DeleteYou are right :) I am getting better about ignoring them, but it is definitely nice to see that there are others who do not feel every child must follow the same pattern and mold.
DeleteWe refer to this as 'potty learning' in our house, when they start to ask to go potty on thier own I provide underwear and a potty. I don't have the time or patience, I am nursing a little one and have a 2 year old and a three year old, they will figure it out eventually.
ReplyDeleteTheresa, I like your term for it and your attitude! You're right! They will figure it out.
ReplyDeleteWe do potty train, but I don't force it and it has never been a 'struggle.' My youngest is 23 months and we've been sitting her on the potty since she was 4 months old (nothing serious. I'm not a EC or anything, but if I could see she was about to poop I'd take her to the bathroom and let her poop into the toilet. So much easier than cleaning up a poopy diaper! Call me lazy :) ) If she tells me potty we go, and I do whatever it is she needs to me do. If she tries to hide it and not go on the potty, no big deal either. Every step forward is a success. So, I 'train' because I'm lazy. I don't want to clean up all those diapers and messes! But I don't think this is something that one 'side' or the other should judge. People who go the training route have very good reasons and methods, just as you explain here that there are reasons NOT to train. If it works for you, for the kids. Its good. There should be no judgment, only support for each other, because parenting is a hard enough gig without guilt and stress and judgment for the many choices that each of us make.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely agree! Moms should support each other whatever our parenting choices may be!
DeleteThank you so much for the visit and for telling us about your method of 'training'.
Hi there! I'm visiting from 2 Against 1, a fellow blogger directed me here as I am currently smack in the middle of this power struggle you speak of. This is a very interesting post and one I will show to my hubby for sure. We're on our second attempt to train our 2 year old twins and there are days where I feel like I am fighting a losing battle. I have read so many suggestions out there,but this is the first no training method. Thank you for sharing and I'll be back as any help will do :)
ReplyDeleteI'll have my 'how I did it' post up in a little while. I'm happy to help!! Thank you for visiting. I'll pop by your blog later today!
DeleteHey there! I linked to this post, I hope that's okay :)
ReplyDeleteI totally agree...they will figure it out. I pushed and pushed with my son when he was two, and got so frustrated that I finally gave up. One day he said to me he wanted to wear underwear, and I gave in. He never had another accident. I think it just needed to be his idea in his own time.
ReplyDeleteKids certainly have their own minds, don't they?! Good for you for allowing him to take the lead. His body, his choice. :)
DeleteI used the naked technique on my third child. It worked much better than the forced, concentrated efforts I used with my other two!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for joining Flock Together today at Mom’s Best Nest . I am now your happy follower and look forward to reading your posts.
Naked makes it easier. I just worry about pee on the floor! I get enough of that with my cat!
DeleteThank you for your visit and comment. I'll visit the Nest again soon!